


don't lie

by luchiden



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Blood, M/M, Mild Blood and Gore, Post-Graduation, the blood tag is. practucally nothing but Still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 13:07:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5249318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luchiden/pseuds/luchiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes there are flashes of something he only barely recognizes, a memory of red hair, mocking eyes but a sincere smile, a side of him that only Nagisa knew. He chases it out because the thought of Karma always seems to bring about something he hasn't felt in years. If it isn't essential to him it's only natural he would discard it.</p><p>(It's easier to tell himself that, it's easier to say that Karma wasn't what he needed even if he wanted him, it's easier to run away.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't lie

And they all ask the same question. Nagisa smiles every time.

 

"Isn't it fun?"

 

Ah yes, he thinks as he drives his knife through the flesh of somebody's belly, _ah yes_ , he thinks as he steps on ribs and broken bones. Blood, blood, blood in his mouth, death unfolding its wings behind him, merely a shadow that hides in the gaps of his hatred, the gaps of what he could've been and what he chose to be.

 

"Isn't it fun?" His teacher asks as he drives his foot into Nagisa's face and Nagisa tastes iron. He knows that this is his life now, no more assassination attempts, his new teachers are far more easier targets than the one he's already killed. He spits out the blood in his mouth.

 

(It's nothing unusual, don't be surprised.)

 

It's so fun, yes, so fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, he thinks as his teacher falls to the ground.

 

(You don't have the feet to kick me now, do you?)

 

 

Nagisa remembers the first time he killed somebody (it wasn't exactly a person) and how it made him feel. He knows it isn't the same because back then it was bitter, Nagisa felt like crying, oh, god, he had killed somebody he cared about. It doesn't matter to him when they tell him "You have great potential." and when everybody whispers behind his back "He'll become a great assassin." He won't. He doesn't want to. Yet he becomes exactly what he said he wouldn't become because the dream of the knife in his teacher's body haunts him and it seems there is nothing else to do after all because there is no way he can escape it. By the time he's twenty-three everything has faded and all he's left with is the hollow memory of an old classroom and the blood on his nicest shirt, the stains that can't wash off.

 

Sometimes there are flashes of something he only barely recognizes, a memory of red hair, mocking eyes but a sincere smile, a side of him that only Nagisa knew. He chases it out because the thought of Karma always seems to bring about something he hasn't felt in years. If it isn't essential to him it's only natural he would discard it.

 

(It's easier to tell himself that, it's easier to say that Karma wasn't what he needed even if he wanted him, it's easier to run away.)

 

He remembers lips on his and a plead, not exactly begging, because Karma always had too much pride for that, and yet it's the closest it could ever come to begging. A tongue sliding across his mouth, a whisper "Don't go." and one right after it "Goodbye." Even back then there was nothing that could change his mind. There is something satisfying in knowing you have the heart of a person everybody is afraid of, a person that never gave it to anybody else and Nagisa takes pride in it but at the same time it's scary to know that Karma had his heart in return. So he doesn't stay, his feet carry him to different places, with a pile of different bodies behind him because if he doesn't know them and he doesn't love them they are only flesh and bones to him.

 

 

It happens like this. He's back to Tokyo because he always comes back, always, because even if it hurts when he does it hurts more if he doesn't. The first thing he does is go to his old classroom. The door makes this strange noise, like nails scraping the creaking floorboards and he wonders if it used to sound this way or if they simply never noticed it over the loudness of their own voices. Everything is quiet now and when he swipes his forefinger on his old desk it comes off dirty.

 

His front hits the floor and all breath is kicked out of him from the impact. He rolls over just as a foot comes down on the floor next to him, right where he was lying a few seconds ago. He doesn't have any time to think before the person above him catches him by the collar and lifts him up. He closes his eyes and kicks the person in the chest with both his legs until they come crashing down. There is a knife on their throat before Nagisa realizes he's seen these eyes, he knows, he knows, he remembers still.

 

His hands go limp and the knife falls with a dull thud.

 

"Welcome home." Karma says, trying to fix his crumpled shirt, his face split in half by a smile.

 

Nagisa chokes back the "It's good to be home." and instead says "I missed you."

**Author's Note:**

> first fic on ao3 and i decided to make this ...  
> you can find me @ my [tumblr](http://kunpimwah.tumblr.com)


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